Time Flies and Self Esteem Dilemmas

I always have intentions of resuming the blog posts. It's been just over a year since my last one, and this makes me regret that I let it lapse. However, in my defense, it has been a BEAST of a year. Someday soon, I'll have to explain that for my own records if nothing else, but not tonight.

Today my twelve-year-old daughter was focused on her upcoming school year. She is excited about entering junior high, but apprehensive as well. We had a long talk about friends, gossip, expectations, and how to find a way to love one's self. I recently read a book titled Saving CeeCee Honeycut by Beth Hoffman. My cousin, Amy, always recommends wonderful books and this one did not disappoint. One quote from the book has stayed with me. "It's what we believe about ourselves that determines how others see us." I am trying to center my beautiful daughter's heart, mind, and soul on this concept. It wouldn't hurt me to work on it either...

Summer Lovin'

Liv and Abby cruising the lazy river at Ross Park last week.

Where has this summer gone? I am nowhere near ready to head back to the classroom...nor are my kids. Although, several of my friends have informed me that they ARE indeed ready to send their children back to school (thank you very much:). Still...only two more Fridays and this teacher is due in her building. :(

I've barely posted this summer, so here is a picture diary of some of the things we've been doing this summer:

1) Attending soccer games.

Olivia loves soccer.

Olivia hated it when I would yell really loud at her soccer games.
This is her "I'm soooo annoyed with my mom" face. LOL

Notice Cassie in the background (above)...
she and I coached Abby's team.
(Here Abby and Sydney show how much they love the sidelines:).

Six-year-olds playing soccer = organized chaos.

By the end of the season...we all felt like Abby looks;).

2) Spending time with friends and family.

Some of the cousins in the lake at
our family reunion in Bear Lake.
(Lauren, Olivia, Abigail, Andrew, and Ethan)

Olivia's friend invited her to a concert...
here she is with her friends
and Richie McDonald, former Lonestar frontman.

Kiara and Livvy...BFF's
together as much as their moms would allow.

Which happened to be a lot...love these two. Soooo FUN!

Olivia's other BFF, Alli, took her on
an impromptu trip to DISNEYLAND!

Abby (and her cousin Mitch)
go to Summer Kamp at Miss Penny's every
Tuesday and Thursday morning. They LOVE it!

Abby LOVES Miss Penny.
She thinks that she is her grown up twin...

3). Abby and Flat Stanley had adventures.
(See Facebook: Lit'l Spuds Kampus)

She made him a town.
She took him to Bear Lake
to go on a jet ski and meet her family.

She taught him to be a beautician...he's not pictured.

Abby and Flat Stanley coming home from Toy Story 3.
The adventures continue...

4). We've been DEEP cleaning the house.

Abby learned to do some of Olivia's chores while
Liv was gone to Disneyland and Utah for a week.

Messy closets, drawers
(like my make-up drawer pictured above), and
rooms are getting cleaned and organized...
which will last one week tops.

5). We've gone shopping...

And on my trip to Boise
my friend spotted this restaurant...
needless to say, we didn't go in to find out;).

I have two weeks to finish up my "TO DO" list. There are still a lot of things on this list. I guess I better go to bed so that I can cross a few things off tomorrow;).

Cassie Rae

Cassie has an independent spirit. She is loyal and honest. If you are lucky enough to have her on your side, she will do ANYTHING for you. She loves fiercely and is protective of those she loves. She is smart, hip, and she has "swagger."

Even though she isn't related by blood, Cassie has become part of our family in the past year. The girls look up to her, and she is extra good to them. She volunteered to help coach Abby's soccer team this summer and never missed attending one of Abby's or Livvy's games each week. Cass runs them to lessons like an older sister would and takes them to ride bikes at the church across the street so that I can have a minute to myself. She even pitches in around the house and is letting me teach her about cooking and laundry. The girls love to watch movies with her and beg her to listen to stories or spend time with them. If she's not here...everyone asks, "Where's Cass?"

Cassie is getting ready to head off to college. This will be an exciting time in her life, but she will be missed. Hopefully she'll come to her second home to visit as often as she can...we love you Cass.

Trying...

Notice the IMPERFECT picture...if you know me, that's progress;).

Why is it that it's nearly 2:30 a.m., and I'm not sleeping? It's so sporadic that I actually update that I don't even think anyone reads it...lol. Even so:

Tonight as Michael and I watched my girls play soccer, gather at the bar for food, and dance around to music...it hit me. This is what life is about for me: being a mom and wife. The phrase, "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all," seemed to fit.

I come from a LONG line of perfectionists. We (my six siblings and I) weren't just raised to strive for an immaculate home, made-from-scratch food, not a hair out of place, clean children 24/7, organization, and Windexed counter tops...it is in our genes. Unfortunately, I may try to aim for these pursuits, but I seem to maintain a pretty orderly household, make some things from scratch as I also boil Ramen in the microwave, allow Abby to leave the house sans a bow and curls, ignore the noticeable grass stains after a hard day of play, and close various doors to hide my piles of laundry. However...if you know my sister or me...we do manage to Windex those counters regularly if all else fails. Sometimes I feel like my best efforts fail.

I WANT to have it ALL together. Not to impress anyone, but just for me to feel like I do. These are days when I have to remind myself...there is more to life. It's probably okay to leave a dish in the sink (I have lately). It's okay to take time to dance and play with Abby, fill water balloons with Olivia, make brownies for Cassie, or watch a little TV with Michael rather than make sure that my house is just so. I wish I could have perfection...but I'm learning that my kids won't remember that base boards were always dusted and the floors were always lacking crumbs or dirt. They will remember the little things like story time, dancing and singing at the tops of our lungs, and if I kiss their dad. I may be an under qualified soccer coach, look dreadful in a swimsuit, and detest animals...but I hope that someday my kids will appreciate that I tried.

Strength, Power, and Comfort

I have a friend who was a little girl when we met. I was her babysitter and later her co-worker. I watched her grow from a sassy, little girl who cut her own hair and started a trend of spiked bangs, to a determined young woman, and now a mother whose selflessness is an example to many. Although I'm older than she is by quite a bit, she has taught me with her strength, faith, and example. I am amazed by her attitude and gracious spirit. You can meet her and read about her family's journey over the past months at:

www.thelindsaychronicles5.blogspot.com

Yesterday an angel visited her little family. He was only with them on earth a short time, but it doesn't take long for someone like him to change your life. There is power in prayer; please remember my friend in yours. Not just today, but in the days and weeks ahead. Times like these are difficult because while friends, neighbors, and family are pillars of strength during trying times, life resumes at its usual light speed and those coping are still left to the task of remembering how to function following loss.

Dear Quinn,
I am inspired and touched by your family's journey. Words are inadequate, but I wanted to say that I admire your courage, faith, and willingness to share this blessing with others. I am grateful for your testimony and your example. Each of you are in our closest thoughts and prayers, and you know that anything you need is but a request away. We love you.