Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Nicest Kid In Town


The inserted picture is of my daughter at her Hairspray themed birthday party. That movie hit home for me because I am, and have always been, obsessed with my weight. There, I said it! In my quest for skinny, I’ve tried about everything. I’ve had eating disorders, been too thin, not so thin, and everywhere in between. I’ve paid tons of $$$ to loose and gain, used medications, done things I’d rather not admit, and since last summer, I’ve been exercising. I try to hit the gym at least 3 times a week, sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less. But, I’ve made a big effort to try to do things right, yet the weight is hanging on. I’ve been tempted to revisit my old ways; however, now that my 9 year old is having some issues in this area, I have committed myself (and hopefully my family) to a new way of life. No more diets, starving, fads, short cuts, etc. I went today to learn how to eat and change my lifestyle. ( http://www.pocatellopicc.com/walkinweightloss.html )I will eventually love the results for myself, but I can’t wait to see what this does for my daughter.
Why is it that we allow others to determine our self worth? I hate that at 9 years old, kids tease her for not fitting into someone else’s definition of perfection. I hate it even more that until she was 4, she believed she was the prettiest, the smartest, the best! That is what she had been told by everyone who loved her from the time she was born. Does she still hear that from those people? Yes, daily. However, currentlywe are not the defining influence in her life. I sent her to pre-school and a little bit of that awareness, confidence, and belief in self was lost. Then kindergarten took a little more, then each year after, more of her love of self was stripped away by the insensitive comments of her peers. She’s not alone. We do this to each other, point out flaws, dwell on the negative, minimize potential. If we only knew the effects our words and actions had on others. When we defensively tear down to build ourselves up, we may fracture a spirit. Or, if it’s already fractured, we may provide the break. This is why I have to change my outlook, my behavior, and my habits. How will she believe me when I encourage her to love herself for who she is, to make healthy choices if I can’t? How will she accept others and look for the best in them if she can’t do that for herself? How can anyone?
Not that losing weight is the answer to positive self esteem, but being healthy will help. The work and effort put into becoming one’s best self, inside and out, will surely be a journey worth taking.

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