My Baby Isn't a Baby?

How depressing is it when you realize that your baby is no longer a baby? Being plagued with infertility and complicated pregnancies, I'm so grateful for my two beautiful girls. However, knowing that you'll never experience the miracle of bringing a spirit into your family again is heartbreaking. I had to have a hysterectomy the year I turned 30 and my baby turned 1 year. I felt at peace with it then, and I still do...but my youngest just turned 5. This was hard for me because it hit me that life is racing by. Next fall she'll board the bus and head off to kindergarten. I had a hard time with each of these milestone's with my oldest because I'd waited so long to have her that I wanted time to stretch, but I was comforted in KNOWING (another story for another day) that there was another child who would eventually come to live with our family. And now there are no more babies in my home, but Abby will always be my baby girl, just like Liv will always be my first gift from heaven.

So yes, Abby had a birthday. It was complete with a family pizza party at Leo's, a beautiful princess castle cake made by Grandma Becky,and tons of fun gifts from her sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins...and her parents.Abby ran and giggled and played; she enjoyed turning 5. I enjoyed it with her, but later I cried. I was happy for who she is, for the opportunity to help shape her into who she will be, but I was sad because my baby isn't a baby. Maybe the tears were a little because I've yet to shed the baby weight! Now that IS depressing. (Ha, ha, you are supposed to laugh at my lame attempt at humor here...)

Do you think she has to turn 6? ;)