Flight Rescheduled

Have you ever been at an airport? It's amazing to watch thousands of people gathered together in one building with a common goal. Everyone has somewhere to be. Behind the scenes, it's really mind blowing to try to comprehend the amount of organization, coordination, planning, and manipulating that it takes to run the place. When I was hopping from flight to flight on my way across the ocean, I couldn't help but try to picture how many individuals it took to get me from point A to point B and back again.

Today I had the opportunity to watch my nephew for a few hours. Haizer's baby boy. It seems obvious that he should be here to see his son. Is it wrong to feel a little angry at someone you love and miss so much? Is it selfish to search Tyson's face for traces of his father? Is it too early to sit and show him photos of his daddy in hopes that he'll recognize him? The thoughts race, competing for equal attention.

As I sat in my big comfy chair, snuggled with Tyson this afternoon, I couldn't help but watch him sleep. The rise and fall of his little chest, the soft cheeks rosy from the warmth of sleep, and the tiny smile came and went as he dreamed. I couldn't help but imagine a soft knock on my front door. Upon opening it, I'd find Tyson's daddy on the step with his signature grin, arms outstretched to hold his boy. I'm sure Haizer thinks these thoughts too.

Everyone has burdens that they quietly deal with as the world swims around them in the rush of the daily grind. The thing is, life is constant; it just keeps coming at you. Everyday the sun rises and there are new opportunities for the taking, new hardships brewing, new challenges to face, and the sun sets as we figure out a way to put all of that on hold for a few hours rest before it starts again. I don't think any one's loss is greater, any one's burden heavier, it's all relative. I think that realizing that everyone has highs and lows, successes and failures, losses and gains is beneficial for healing. However, sometimes it's also allowable just to have a pity party and have a good cry. Isn't it?

I am certainly not suggesting that I feel loss more profoundly. It's just that as time passes I realize more and more how many lives are touched by one person. How the absence of one life can truly impact so many others. It reminds me of the airport...how many people does it take to get one individual from point A to point B? It's a math problem without a solution. However, sometimes it only takes one person to cause the careful balance to shift, and everyone else is left picking up the pieces, rescheduling the flights, dealing with the fallout.